Promotion of attachment / theory

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Attachment Theory - How Your Childhood Affects Your Life Attachment Theory argues that a strong emotional and physical attachment to a primary caregiver in our early years is critical to our development. When our attachment is strong and solid, we feel safe in the world to explore. We know that there is always a safe base to go back to at any time, and when our attachment is weak, we feel insecure. We are afraid of exploring a pretty scary world or leaving safe haven. Because we are not sure if we can come back.

1. FST / The secure attachment type The securely attached child has confidence in the reliability and availability of the attachment person and explores undisturbed in their presence. The attachment person is perceived as a safe starting point for exploring the environment. When separated from her, the child shows clear attachment behavior with shouting, searching and crying and appears stressed. The child clearly differentiates between the attachment person and does not allow himself to be comforted by the stranger. When the attachment figure returns, the child demonstrates joy and immediately seeks physical contact. As a result of the experience of predictable calming through the attachment figure, it can quickly return to its environment in exploratory fashion. (Stangl, 2020).
Understand, accompany and calm my crying baby, the crying of an infant leaves no adult unaffected. Parents in particular are placed on alert. From the child's point of view, crying is a signal that indicates a need. We would like to explain to you what the crying of the babies is all about and what possibilities there are to be able to accompany your baby with understanding. In order to better respond to and respond to our children's crying, it is important to be familiar with the various forms of crying. By imagining that a child always has to be calm, the parents get caught in a performance ideal and develop questionable calming strategies such as Feeding, giving pacifiers, swings, background noise, driving a car, etc. Loss of emotion control ("It overwhelms me"). Perhaps there are hidden issues such as disappointment, aggression or relationship insecurities and family stories. Loss of self-efficacy ("I can't do anything"). The delimitation is no longer possible. A posture of eight arises with loss of contact with oneself. Fatigue syndrome (“I can no longer”). And what helps to calm the stressful situation? Slowing down and calm helps to adapt to the slow world of children. A conversation in peace creates access to the inner state of mind. Through calm and self-connection in conscious breathing, it is easier for parents to empathize with the behavioral and body language of their child and to answer them. In this response, the child learns to experience itself as self-effective and safe. (Source: https://www.bethesda-spital.ch/blog/frauenmedizin/geburt/mein-weinendes-baby-verstehen-begleiten-und-beruhigen.html) We try to educate and support parents about the different types of crying:

The need crying

The crying of need serves the child as his form of speaking and can mean hunger, desire for attention and social play, for physical closeness or also for rest and sleep.

The resonance cry

Here the child reacts to stimuli in its environment. Already in the first days of life, the newborn is confronted with many new experiences and challenges: The baby experiences a lot of new stimuli, such as visits to the puerperium or sounds from the radio and television. At best, there are also unspoken partnership problems that the little one feels. All of this irritates the babies and causes them to be restless, unable to find sleep and ultimately crying a lot. Warning: resonance crying is often interpreted as crying for need. Accordingly, the concerned parents can no longer find their own peace. The result is fear, despair for parents and child, and thus a vicious cycle. Many parents do not feel understood and then seek help. The result is that they are put off by professional helpers, arguing that shouting is a temporary development phenomenon ("three-month colic"), or they are considered to be incompetent and complicated. However, a solution is not found.

The memory crying

This crying often shows up as excessive or unspecific screaming and puts a heavy burden on the parents. Such a crying fit hides memories of what babies experienced during pregnancy and birth and process in dreams. The understanding of the prenatal world of experience can be awakened and brought closer to the parents. This creates recognition for the child's way of expression. The memory crying can also be triggered by a sound, a hasty or surprising movement, a color or a smell, so that the babies start to cry for no apparent reason. Here they need our presence and attention. What do the parents struggle with while crying? Loss of orientation ("I don't understand it!").

The four binding models by Mary Ainsworth (et al) and John Bowlby

The secure bond model

The baby brings confidence in the sensitivity of the attachment figure. It wants to interact per se, looking for visual stimuli (faces) and voices.

The unsafe-avoiding binding model

Not all parents are able to always provide their children with the experience of security and attachment, so that they can build a secure attachment.

The uncertain, ambivalent attachment model

In both unsafe models, children get used to organizing the relationship with their parents in their own way. In the anxiously ambivalent model, the attachment figure is depicted as unpredictable. Due to the inconsistent availability, the children do not know what to expect. They often hear threats of abandonment - they are highly pathogenic!

The uncertain, disorganized attachment model

Attachment-related issues of the attachment figure (traumatic unprocessed events) keep the own attachment system activated. They are scary, confusing, troubling, messy. This means that their care options, especially their function as sensitive attachment persons, are only available to a limited extent. The babies often start to cry and hardly develop a rhythm of sleep - or they are quiet and calm. You have already perceived the unpredictability intrauterine.

The four types of attachment How do childhood attachment experiences affect satisfaction in adult relationships?

The "safe" bond pattern

The sure bound child

The "unsafe-avoiding" bond pattern

Children with an insecure-avoiding attachment style have "weaned themselves off" to seek help from their caregivers in emergency situations. They have had to learn that they do not receive help in emotional need, but are rather devalued instead. Therefore, they avoid further rejections by showing themselves 'cool' (even if they are highly aroused inside) and asking for no more support.

The "uncertain-ambivalent" attachment pattern

On the other hand, children who are tied to uncertainty and ambivalence try to ensure that the attachment figures are close by crying violently and clinging to them. They do this because their learning experience is that they only have a chance of consolation and attention if they present their needs as intensely and dramatically as possible.

The "unsafe-disorganized" attachment pattern

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This area is currently under construction and can be realized thanks to the financial support of the following person: Dipl. Psych. Sema Ley